Of Desires

Its a warm evening and the sun set red glows the tree, that goes from a dull brown to bright green as the spring displays its effect. Steadily the days get longer and the cold misty mornings of winters seem to be distant. What was then biting sharp and uncomfortable chill is now remembered as tickling cold, the hazy mornings are gone and the morning sun shines bright on my east facing window. I argue now, with myself questioning the reasoning behind weighing the mornings of two seasons on a lazy, drowsy evening.

The winters I often think had a promise of the approaching spring. I Imagined the leafless, nude trees adorned in the beauty of green clothes and red, yellow ornaments and I was blithe. As the spring takes over, my impatience grows. I crave for the green on the still dead trees. The uncomplaining anticipation of the grand tree that stands besides the road, saddens me at times and makes me furious on the other occasions. I desperately await leaves on every missing branch and desperation grows with every passing day, its like I fear a betrayal, like I apprehend a promise not kept.

This evening is warm, the heat forces me to live with the undistinguished hum of the three armed fan, the buzz of the mosquito distracts me from the joy of the surrounding music and I start disliking yet another  season. I look back again, those nights when the blanket was always cold, when the thirst was quenched by the frosty water, how much I wanted a warmer day, I desired a cozier cabin then and now I wish to relive those cold bitter wintery nights. calm and serene, I can now remember they were.

The hours, minutes lead to seasons and the seasons are what I recognised I usually dislike. the heat of summer and the cold of winter are hard to overlook, but the other day what was disliked is desired, the cycle of changing needs complement the seasons and an unending mirage plays an unending game. As I get ready to put down the pen, to cogitate on something more worthwhile, I understand I like the efforts to fulfill my desires, in fact I live to live those desires. Desires that shall not only grow but also reshape themselves with the sun and rain.

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